Adoption (Part 3)

So things took an unexpected turn in all this. We were sifting through paperwork. The birth mom had said that we were officially chosen. We'd shelled out thousands of dollars on attorneys and made several trips up to Idaho. This was looking like (as was supposed to be) a sure thing. Then the crap hit the fan. Sometimes it is crazy how quickly things can turn around. We we promised that this was going to happen. Then slowly but surely things started to tank. Suddenly the maternal baby granny insisted that we needed to go through a silly agency in Boise (nowhere near anyone involved). She insisted that if we wanted this we needed to make it work and take time off work or church or whatever it be (obviously against our religion, and frown upon it) and meet with this silly counselor from Boise. So we rearrange our schedules and drive the 2 1/2 hours up there (again) to meet with them for 30 minutes then turn around and head back home. I didn't like it at all to begin with. It felt fake. Like it was all a show for the baby granny. My wife had hashed over most of the details with the birth mom through messages on Facebook for the last several weeks. Later that night the birth mom told the birth dad that she was wanting us to go through the agency because they could squeeze some money in their favor (illegal by the way) and then she would keep the kid at the end. Things went badly real quick and now the birth mom has found another couple she is going with. I'm not sure if it's to stick with the plan and pull the rug out from underneath them in the end or really adopt the kid out. She's said she wants the birth dad out of the picture and shut him out completely.

The birth dad has rights though and he is looking to exercise those rights to prevent the adoption from happening. So it could go one of two ways really. With the adoption halted she could decide that it's not worth it and relinquish her rights or she could dig in and fight it out in court for the next however many months/years. Turns out that she is very good at lying and manipulating folks. So there is still a chance that we may end up with the child, but my bets are on things getting nasty and there will be plenty of mud flinging in a court room somewhere. She obviously doesn't care about anyone but herself, so I imagine that's how it'll be going down.

There is nothing like the feeling of thinking something is going to work out for you, and then find out that the rope you had has turned into a noose and is doing its best to strangle all the feeling that it can out of you. I've been fairly calm through all of this mess. I've felt peace in the wild hurricane that is raging around me. I don't know why I feel this way or how really. My wife is crying and ranting and losing all kinds of sleep over this. I thought I would be too, but something is giving me the strength to sit back and see what happens. True I'd like to introduce a baseball bat to a few faces and see what Picasso's paintings would look like in real life. I know that's not exactly Christlike though and this is one of those times were I feel I need to "Be still and know that I am God". Elder Scott years ago in one of his talks mention how the Lords millstone of justice worked slowly, but it was efficient. No one will get away with things that they have done. I try to be forgiving and patient with things like this because for the most part I know that "they know not what they do". It doesn't make it hurt any less, but leaving it up to the Lord and not trying to be a spiritual vigilante of sorts at least takes that responsibility from me. It leaves it up to the Lord to divvy out things as he sees fit. I know I've done dumb things too, and more than likely done my fair share of pain to others. I can only hope that by showing a bit of compassion for others even though they sought (or maybe just heedlessly did) evil to me, I might have a measure of that compassion when I have things I'm not proud of laid out in front of me.

It's easy to get bent and hope for the worst for someone that's caused you grief, but I think it's easier to move on and let things happen how they may. I can spend my time worrying and fussing over something that I have no control over, or I can put my time and energy into something that will be more constructive for me and those I interact with. The choice is mine to make, and it's one that you make every day. I feel that by not letting it get to me I deny the person trying to hurt me the satisfaction of knowing that they got to me, and see me hurt myself day in and day out by stressing and getting angry over something that they did to me.

Anyway long story short things look bad, but I know that even though things have not gone the way I hoped I do still have things to be happy about. The amount of support that we have been getting from friends and family is amazing. I hold out hope for the day that something will work out and I can see a reason why things turned out the way that they did.