Voluntary Deafness

So I had to deal with a person at work that was so infuriating that they have won a spot on my blog. It started with one ticket saying their computer was slow. Looking at the hardware I agreed and let the user know that the machine was scheduled to be replaced in June and that if they wanted it replaced sooner than that to have their supervisor order the machine and I could get it set up for them.

I don't hear anything until the next day when another ticket is put in asking for some software to be installed on the same computer, but that it was going to be replaced soon and that it would probably be best if the software was installed on the new machine. I again emailed him telling him that if by "soon" he meant June then yes it would be "soon" but if he needed the software sooner than next year sometime to get his supervisor to purchase a computer and I'd be happy to set it up. The software he was requesting would not run on the OS he was currently running and he would need to upgrade in order for the software to be installed. He replied saying he would talk to his supervisor and not thirty seconds later had submitted ANOTHER ticket saying he wanted his computer replaced. I asked him why he had submitted another ticket for the exact same thing that I had just talked to him about. He said he read the email wrong and that he would talk to his supervisor.

A few minutes later the person calls me wanting to "discuss their computer situation". I again had to tell them twice over the phone that if they didn't want to wait until June that they would need to have their supervisor order him a computer. After sounding disappointed and hanging up I couldn't believe that I had to tell someone five times over emails and over the phone that they had to buy a computer. How hard is it to understand "Buy a computer"? I don't know how much simpler I could put it.

Not ten minutes later his supervisor is calling the helpdesk asking how to order a computer and the helpdesk is asking me how to order a computer. I told them what little I knew and that if they don't know how to order something they A) either don't have the rights too or B) need to be taught in the ways of being a supervisor (or both). Turns out A was the correct answer.

Luckily for me both goobers happen to have their own IT Analyst that was willing to deal with Tweedledee and Tweedledum and get them figured out. So I was able to close the load of tickets that had been opened up on the exact same issue because they weren't willing to read all the way through my emails and attempt to understand what was going on. I didn't have anything technical in them. If they can't understand "Buy a computer" then I don't have any hope for them. I think it got to a point where the helpdesk has pretty much refused to deal with them and they are to be referred to their IT Analyst for anything they need. All this for a user that will only be here for six months anyway.