Overview of First Area: Klamath Falls

My first area was Klamath Falls. We covered the 1st ward in Klamath and then 2 branches out in the boonies. The Chiloquin branch is a little ways north of Klamath. The Keno branch was a bit south and west. The branch went into California so I got to go to the boarder a time or two. The furthest south I ever went was to a little place called Tennant California. It was a dirt road with a row of houses. I think it was on the outskirts of the world. We could see Mt. Shasta from there. It looked bigger than it did in Klamath being several miles closer.

While in Klamath I had heard a few nicknames for the place. Klamtucky, Klamabama, Cracka Falls. The most of the area for the 1st ward was pretty ghetto looking. There was a section of town that had bigger houses called Nob Hill. We called it Snob Hill.

We had a 2003 Chevy Malibu to beat around. We called it Mally. I named all the cars that I had in the mission. I was here for 3 transfers (4 1/2 months June - October 2005) and had two companions here. My first companion was from Missouri and I was with him for 2 transfers (3 months) and the second was from California.

I got to go visit a military airfield called Kingsley Field and see the facility and jets that were around. I got to go to the lava beds in Tulelake California and explore the caves around there. I also got to go to Crater Lake a couple of times. It was actually in our area so we went once with some members on a P-day and once with our district. Each transfer we got to pick a fun activity to do and a spiritual activity. There was a temple in Medford so I think it was once a transfer we got to go to the temple. It was about 3 or 4 hours away.

Klamath has the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen. Klamath Lake is right on the boarder of the city so I took a lot of sunset pictures on the lake as well as on top of the little hill that was in the middle of our area.

The church building in Klamath is one of two in the world that has the Articles of Faith on the side of the building.

Klamath was my first taste of life outside the Utah bubble. The streets make no sense. City blocks were almost unheard of and when there was blocks they were all confusing one way streets. The rest of the streets seemed to be broken up into different sections in different parts of town. So when someone lived on Washington street you had to figure out which section of the street you were actually looking for. Occasionally there was a portion of the street that was still named the same thing even though it was in a completely different part of town. The city planner must have been on something when they started putting things together.

The other thing I noticed was that there were churches everywhere. A lot like Utah except instead of an LDS church every block or so it was pretty much the opposite. I think there was 3 LDS chapels in the entire city of Klamath. There were hundreds of other churches every other block or so. Some very interesting to behold to put it mildly.

I loved Klamath Falls. I loved the people there. There were a few wacko's and some that were pretty mean (as you'll probably see in forthcoming stories), but all in all I loved being there. The members were awesome and helped us out where they could. I think Klamath Falls was probably my favorite place to serve. I later got to go back and serve in a different ward, but that will be for a different day.

Voluntary Deafness

So I had to deal with a person at work that was so infuriating that they have won a spot on my blog. It started with one ticket saying their computer was slow. Looking at the hardware I agreed and let the user know that the machine was scheduled to be replaced in June and that if they wanted it replaced sooner than that to have their supervisor order the machine and I could get it set up for them.

I don't hear anything until the next day when another ticket is put in asking for some software to be installed on the same computer, but that it was going to be replaced soon and that it would probably be best if the software was installed on the new machine. I again emailed him telling him that if by "soon" he meant June then yes it would be "soon" but if he needed the software sooner than next year sometime to get his supervisor to purchase a computer and I'd be happy to set it up. The software he was requesting would not run on the OS he was currently running and he would need to upgrade in order for the software to be installed. He replied saying he would talk to his supervisor and not thirty seconds later had submitted ANOTHER ticket saying he wanted his computer replaced. I asked him why he had submitted another ticket for the exact same thing that I had just talked to him about. He said he read the email wrong and that he would talk to his supervisor.

A few minutes later the person calls me wanting to "discuss their computer situation". I again had to tell them twice over the phone that if they didn't want to wait until June that they would need to have their supervisor order him a computer. After sounding disappointed and hanging up I couldn't believe that I had to tell someone five times over emails and over the phone that they had to buy a computer. How hard is it to understand "Buy a computer"? I don't know how much simpler I could put it.

Not ten minutes later his supervisor is calling the helpdesk asking how to order a computer and the helpdesk is asking me how to order a computer. I told them what little I knew and that if they don't know how to order something they A) either don't have the rights too or B) need to be taught in the ways of being a supervisor (or both). Turns out A was the correct answer.

Luckily for me both goobers happen to have their own IT Analyst that was willing to deal with Tweedledee and Tweedledum and get them figured out. So I was able to close the load of tickets that had been opened up on the exact same issue because they weren't willing to read all the way through my emails and attempt to understand what was going on. I didn't have anything technical in them. If they can't understand "Buy a computer" then I don't have any hope for them. I think it got to a point where the helpdesk has pretty much refused to deal with them and they are to be referred to their IT Analyst for anything they need. All this for a user that will only be here for six months anyway.

Mission Stories: MTC

The MTC was not my favorite place to be. I'd gladly have stayed another transfer with my hardest companion then go through that misery again. I was there for 3 weeks. I believe it is less time now. Preach My Gospel had just come out and I think we were one of the first few rounds of missionaries to start using it. I never used the lessons from "The Purple Dragon" as the last missionary manual was known as.

The first day you are there you get your things and get your "dork dot" (the sticker on your tag that meant you are new). You meet the other noobs and get your rooms and whatnot. I had a cousin that was there the same time as I was. He was going to Mexico so he was there for 6 weeks and his last two weeks overlapped my first two. I got to see him a couple of times at meals.

At that time the old "Tree of Life" was the shower. It was just a big room that had big posts in the room with several shower heads running around the post. When my friend went through a month later they had been done away with and replaced with individual shower stalls.

I loathed being in the call center. Phones are not my favorite thing in the world. I don't care to call and talk to people that I know let alone some weirdo on the other end that's more than likely not interested in what's going on. I couldn't decide if I liked the inbound calls or the outbound calls better. Inbound the phone would ring and you had to answer it. It was slightly easier because at least they were calling you. No thanks. Outbound you sat on the line and after a beep you heard the other person answer and away you go. Also no thanks. There were two calls in particular that I remember fairly well.

Call 1: This call was an outbound call. I heard the beep and an older guy was on the line. He was a pretty good story teller and was interesting to listen too. Any time I was on the phone was less time I had anxiety hoping I wouldn't hear the beep and have to say something. I had opened with the script on the screen and this guy was friendly enough to just go from there and roll into story after story. He told me all about how he thought the moon landing was a hoax, and how he had just gotten his lungs cleaned out. He was a smoker and had to go have all the junk sucked out of his lungs from years of smoking. He asked me "Have you ever thrown up so hard you though you might see your toes come out your mouth? That's what it feels like." It sounded like he was going to work his way into another story when his doorbell rang and his dogs started barking. He then asked if I could call back later. I said sure and marked him as a call back later. He was a friendly guy.

Call 2: This was also an outbound call. After the beep I hear a mumbled "Hey". I read the prompt in front of me and sat there listening. The guy is talking to someone else and clearly not paying any attention to me. I asked if Johnny was there. More mumbling and muffled speech. I asked again and again go no reply. I asked one more time just for the sake of saying I tried and suddenly the dude must have heard something because he screamed "WHO THE *&%#! IS JOHNNY!?". I apologized and told him I must have had a wrong number. I marked as a do not call back.

I did like listening to the stories from my teachers. They were a welcome break to the endless grind of learning the lessons and preparing for the upcoming abuse I was mentally trying to prepare myself for. My companion was from California (I had a hard time getting along with my companions from California) and the district leader of our group in the MTC. This was a pattern that I would get to follow most of my mission. A lot of my companions were district leaders (or shortly after me became a district leader). This one was probably the easiest Californian companion that I had, but I still didn't like how pushy he was with me. The perks of being the companion to the district leader is they go to meetings you aren't invited to so you get some extra time to study or goof around or whatever, as long as you are in a close proximity of course.

While I was in the MTC we got to meet our Mission President. He and his wife were also in training and would be my mission president my whole mission (with the exception of the first week in Oregon and one transfer where He had to go home for surgery). I liked having that connection with my mission president. We went out the same time but because mission presidents serve three years they had another year after I went home.

I did connect with a couple of the other Elders. What sucked was half of us were going to Oregon and half of us were going to Arizona. Of course the Elders I made friends with the best were the ones going to Arizona.

We did have our moments to goof around though. There was about an hour or two before bedtime that we had to get ready and wind down a bit. Being a bunch of 19 year olds of course we found some wild things to do. We got some pictures of ourselves looking like we were in The Matrix (with some help from an ironing board a chair and a doorknob) and of course when they tell you not to hit each other with your workout elastic bands that's the first thing that happens. One of the Elders going to Arizona was 26 and from Australia. We all worshiped his accent and made a few videos of him stroking the Book of Mormon saying "Crikey! It's the Word of God! Isn't she a bute!"

The day that we left for Oregon was the day that G. B. Hizzy himself spoke at the MTC. I was a little bummed out that I missed out on that but, I was glad that I was on my way out and on to a new adventure.

Mission Stories

So in light of current events I thought it might be fun to start putting down some stories from my mission. My brother just got his mission call to Bakersfield California and it's made me think back on some of the experiences I had as a missionary. I will miss my brother for the next two years, but I'm excited for him to have some of his own wild stories and experiences of his own. I don't recall hearing very many of my dad's missions stories (he went to Spain). The only one I'm really aware of is that when people wanted to know his name they couldn't really deal with his last name very well or his first name, but they knew what Scotch was and so that is when my dad started going by his middle name of Scott. My dad has a pile of journals so he may have some stories in there I've yet to discover. I haven't read any of them yet. I did fairly well writing in my journal on my mission, but I also had a white board in most of my apartments so I tried to draw out some of the more interesting and funny things I ran into so I could remember them. I'm not a great artist by any means, but it gets the point across. I went to Eugene Oregon. I never really was in Eugene itself, but I liked the cities I had the opportunity to serve in.

Chicken In The Mist

This morning my wife and I got up to go to the gym. We got ready and as we were backing out of the driveway I looked to check for any cars coming and I noticed a chicken standing in our yard. I thought it was kind of funny. I'm assuming it was looking for the worm that the early bird usually gets. I backed out of the driveway and as we drive by my wife noticed a box for chicken wings lying to the side of the road not 5 feet away from the chicken. Those wings must have been under-cooked as they seemed to be still attached to the chicken!

We went to the gym and when we came back the chicken was still standing there. We parked the car and went to investigate. The chicken didn't like us getting too close and after feeling it was surrounded decided it should go check out our neighbors yard. By the time we got inside and had access to a camera the chicken was long gone.

Another One of Those Days...

So I promise that this really doesn't happen all that often, but today tops the last one I wrote about so I just had to type out a quick little blurb on today as well. So today my wife went into the clinic to update a few of her vaccinations. She sat around for a bit and needing to be into work shortly they told her they'd stab her with a needle a few times and send her off. My wife is allergic to a few things and in their haste to get her taken care of didn't check on that before shooting her up with juice and sending her off. About an hour into work my wife is starting to feel a bit weird and light headed. The clinic gives her a call and tells her that they just gave her two of the things she is allergic to and if she experiences a reaction to come into the clinic. My wife is in a different building, and with the insanely strict attendance policies that they have tries to stay on the phone.

A short while later she lets me know that the ambulance is on it's way and that she will be going to the ER. I meander over to the building that she works in and find her in the ambulance on a stretcher. She wasn't able to talk so I talked with the tech in the ambulance and let him know what happened. I then followed the ambulance over to the ER. On the way over I called my supervisor to let him know where I was. He was pretty understanding of the ordeal.

While working my way into the parking garage the truck in front of me decided he was going to back up. Apparently I was invisible to him and he backed into me. Luckily no damage was done. His hitch bumped into my front bumper and he was going slow enough that he just rubbed off some dust. I popped out of the car and looked a bit. Seeing nothing was done I accepted his apology and waved him on. I parked in the first spot I saw and worked my way up a few flights of stairs to the walkway and made my way over to the ER.

I walk inside and talk to the lady at the counter. She says that my wife was just getting in and that they would send for me when they had got her settled in. I figured since I was going to be waiting a minute I called my mother-in-law to let her know what was going on. My mother-in-law is going to start to wonder when I call because generally I don't call her directly unless my wife is in the hospital. I let her know what is going on and do my best to panic my sister-in-law. I succeed greatly in the endeavor. Once I let them know what is going on I don't wait to long before someone pops out of the door and asks who I'm with. I let her know and she has me follow her back to room 9.

My wife is in a bed. She's breathing and able to talk again so that is good. They come and take her blood pressure and such and leave. Now is the worst part of being in the ER: sitting around waiting for the cows to come home. They know what the deal is this time so they don't need to do any tests. They just have her hang around to make sure that the medications isn't going to wear off and the reaction come back. So after sitting around for hours and hours we are finally told they are going to release us. Then after another age goes by they finally come in with the paperwork and let us go. In the process my wife finds that a diamond has abandoned it's post in one of her rings, and work has given her an Attendance Infraction (for something that they caused I might add). So when we went to check out they asked for a co pay. I told them were to go and that we would be working this out with the clinic that sent us here.

We get out of the ER and go strait to HR at work. We tell them all about what went on and how ridiculous this all was. I don't believe in being a jerk and flipping out on anyone, but I did want to be sure someone had an idea of what was going on. I let my wife tell a majority of it since it is her ordeal, but I did want to make sure she was heard and not just blown off like the management in her department has done in the past.

To make a long story short they decided that because it was their fault that they wouldn't ding her for it, and that also because it was their fault that they have submitted a thing to Workman's Comp. So with any luck we won't have a fat hospital bill for something that wasn't our doing.

I've found that anytime we go to the ER I'm always hungry when we leave I'm nigh unto starvation. Going almost 8 hours without eating anything when you've only had a cup full of fruit in the morning for breakfast is for the birds.

In the end I think it'll all get worked out and taken care of. I would however better appreciate it if the frequency of the drama of late would go down a bit, or at least not pack it all into one day. If there is a quota of crazy and wild things to fill in a year I hope that we have hit that quota and deserve a refund for next year!

One of Those Days...

We all have days where we realize we probably should have stayed in bed. Occasionally one of those days is of such epic proportions that all you can do is laugh. This is one of such days. For me it all started when we got home. I can't speak for my wife. Things were ok until we got home. First my wife got a birthday card from her grandma. Not normally a bad thing but not to far back there was a major falling out with her and occasionally my wife will get all riled up over it again and it takes awhile for her to calm down. I was considering not saying anything for awhile, but she happened to be on the phone with her parents and already on the topic without a lot of drama so I figured that would be as good a time as any. That thankfully went over ok without any rage.

Next up we decided on firing up the BBQ and grilling some steaks. This is where our little adventure really begins. We had the steaks on the grill. My wife had turned them over and we were just waiting for the timer to go off. My wife had to run downstairs and burn a CD for someone that was coming over to pick it up. I heard the timer going off so my wife told me to grab the CD when it was done and she went up to check on the steak. Next thing I knew I heard shrieking. I figured she had found a spider or something so I meandered up the stairs. My wife runs inside screaming something about a fire. This gets my attention. I go outside to see black smoke spewing out of the BBQ and dark orange flames licking at the house. I turned off the gas and just waited a bit before opening the lid. I didn't want to give the fire any more oxygen than it needed to just burn out. It finally mellowed out enough that I figured it would be ok to open the lid. Given than it had just been in an inferno a few minutes before I grabbed an oven mitt and lifted the lid. There wasn't much left of the steak other than charcoal. We've had our burnt offering for the year now. My wife burned herself trying to put the lid down. I disconnect the gas tank and hook up the hose in our back yard. My wife and I get it off the deck and start cleaning the thing out a bit. Eventually we haul it down into the weed patch and I hose the sucker off. The stickers that were on it are now unreadable and a neat black color. I hose off the deck and patio. We now have a nice yellow tinted spot on the house. I hosed off the burnt cobwebs on the side of the house.

In the mean time we figured we'd have baked potatoes. We already had broccoli cooked and ready so we stuff the potatoes into the crock pot and get them going (My wife had found a way to get them cooked faster that way, and had previously worked on smaller potatoes). We decided that we'd go ahead and start on the broccoli and rip into the potatoes when they were done. We finished the broccoli and started opening the potatoes when we discovered that they were still solid in the middle. We hadn't taken the size into consideration. We decide to nuke them in the microwave which only makes the situation worse. The outside fries and the insides stayed solid. My wife burns her hand two more times on the plate that had been in the nuker and that's about the time we decide we'd had enough. It was pushing 9:30 and we'd still only had some broccoli.

We dashed across the street to Wendy's and grabbed some burgers and fries please, in a sack (A Berenstain Bears reference for the readers out there), and called it a night. All we could do was laugh about it. The only other option is to cry about it and that isn't ever as fun. I'm just thankful that the house is still standing and the worst thing that came of it was some extra crispy steak and over/under done potatoes.